I am Enough

I've been gone for a long time. I've thought several times of logging in to blog again, but a bout of depression coinciding with a really busy month (work and personally) had taken it out of me. I knew if I blogged, it wouldn't be regular - it would be another post followed by a long silence.

A few weeks ago, I was ruminating on all the health and fitness goals that I make for myself - each year, each month, each week, each day. I don't meet them. I have maintained the same new-years goals related to weight and health for years on end. Why can I not achieve it? I have done so many other things - achieved so much! But when it comes to food and eating, I am stuck. Nothing fundamental has changed - I still don't like how my body looks, I don't like how my body feels, I say derogatory things about my body, I judge things I eat, and I pretend I don't care by saying - I love my body, I am going to eat and do whatever I want!

Several years ago, when I first stumbled upon the world of food blogging, I was inspired and went through a very positive phase - I was recording everything I ate without judgment, and did an exercise of affirmation each day. It helped. When I work towards changing how I feel on the inside, and work towards adding the sort of fuel that I think my body needs, I end up feeling better, sticking to my goals better and being proud of myself.

So, that is what I resolve to do. I am going to post pics of food here like I have been doing, but I am also going to do pen-and-paper journalling about the food I eat. I will also meditate upon a daily affirmation. I may not post pics everyday, but I am committing to journal my food. And I will start with my favorite affirmation: "I AM ENOUGH".

I AM ENOUGH. I am just as I need to be for who I am now. I am enough for my family and friends who love me unreservedly. I am enough for the people I help who come to me and tell me that I make a difference. My body is enough - to get myself around and do my daily chores. My mind is enough - more than enough - I have three graduate degrees spanning two fields of study, I am a critical thinker, I am compassionate. My soul is enough - I am enough for myself and my maker.

BREAKFAST

Puttu and kadala. It's a traditional breakfast served in Kerala, India.
Puttu = steamed cake of roasted rice flour with salt and some coconut mixed in.
Kadala = Gravy with black chickpeas and coconut milk.

LUNCH

1/2 cup rice w. Salsa, Orange Bell Pepper, Yumm Sauce; Two kiwis.

DINNER

Don and I ate a really early dinner - vegetable/tofu lo mein at a Chinese restaurant. It was more noodle and less veggie than I had expected. Look at the size of that plate! I had some, Don ate his meal and then had some of mine, and I still have enough leftover for a weekday lunch! Then, we got hungry around 9-ish, so snacked on chocolate and pita chips.