Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Going on Vacation

I'm going on vacation for three weeks. I'll post as I can while I am away, but regular posts will be back when I am too. In the meantime, I'll keep a written food log. I will also make sure to exercise as I can. Lots of food will be involved, and I will talk about what I did to manage things when I got back. Weigh in yesterday was 218.2lbs. Down 0.2 lbs from last week.

Have a lovely few weeks, everyone!

Friday, June 19, 2015

Been Missing

Hello All. I've been missing for a while. Feeling emotionally worn out, but definitely recovering.

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I don't have Type-1 diabetes. The antibody results were negative, and after all that worry and anger and fear, it was okay after all. The bad news is that I still have Type-2 diabetes. My doctor said that although the results were atypical for Type-2, he is more certain now that it is Type-2. We will be doing additional testing the next time I go in to see him in about a month.

I have completely fallen off all sort of accountability these last few weeks. I have not been eating abominably, but there certainly have been days when I have binged. There were a few days when I went walking, but not very many. Yesterday, I resolved to restart, and am counting carbs again. The goal is to eat about 45 carbs/meal and 15 carbs/snack. It's hard to do this at dinner time, though. Also, I have got out of the habit of taking pictures of what I am eating, so have no pics for you right now. However, I will start doing that again today.

My weight has not fluctuated a lot. I have lost a teeny bit of weight and am at 218.4 lbs. Down 1.4lbs since last week. I met with a nutritionist yesterday who said that it was natural for weight to plateau when you first get diagnosed with diabetes. She said that people generally lose weight in the months leading up to it because the blood sugar isn't being taken into the cells and is just being dumped out of the body. She said that typically when you start to work on diabetes management, weight actually tends to go up. She said it was a good thing that was not happening to me.

So, life has been a mixed bag. I am off now to read others' blogs since I have not been keeping up on them either these last few weeks. Ciao!

Monday, June 8, 2015


Quick post - Weigh-in this morning was 219.8. Down 1.2 lbs.

Still waiting to hear from the endocrinologist about the test results. Have a wonderful Monday!

Thursday, June 4, 2015


My life has been like a roller coaster for the last few weeks ever since I got my diabetes diagnosis. Yesterday, there was more crap thrown into the mix. A few minutes before noon, someone from the endocrinologist's office called and left me a voicemail with the lab results of my blood tests that he had asked to be run. The voicemail said that based on my lab results, it did not look like I was insulin resistant, but that it may be indicative of an auto-immune condition (Type 1) and that my pancreas may not be producing enough insulin. And that the endocrinologist wanted me to do some additional tests to check fro antibody levels before confirming for sure that I have Type 1. I called back immediately, but they had all gone to lunch. I was devastated at the news of course, but also pissed off. At my meeting last week with the endocrinologist, I had very specifically asked him to run tests for the antibodies so that they could rule out Type 1, and he had been so confident that I had Type 2, that he dismissed me and said that the tests were not necessary. Now my wait is prolonged! He will be hearing more from me about this at our next meeting!

I called several times over the next few hours to try to get hold of the woman who called me so that I could confirm if the new blood test needed to be fasting or not. I also spent the next few hours crying. I don't want to have Type 1. I know nobody does, and if I do, I can't help it. But, I had just got around to accepting Type 2, and reassuring myself that at least it was not Type 1. Diabetes Type 1 is an autoimmune disease where your body attacks the pancreatic beta cells that produce insulin and destroy them. So, your body eventually stops producing insulin. No one knows why it happens or what causes it. There is no screening for it, nothing you can do to prevent it, and at this time nothing you can do to cure it. And you will be insulin-dependent for life. So, just as I had started to accept that I can diet and exercise and get my BG under control, maybe go off metformin, and hopefully never have to take insulin, I hear that I may have to be on insulin for the rest of my bloody life!!

After I didn't hear from her for a few hours, I cancelled the rest of my afternoon appointments, and decided I was just going to go over to the office. I got there, and waited to see this woman who had called me with the news. When I finally got to meet with her for a few minutes, I asked her if she could explain my results to me. Basically, what I wanted to know was:
* Is Type-2 completely out of the question? Will the tests that the doctor is recommending help make a differential diagnosis, or is Type 2 ruled out entirely?
* Is it supposed to be a fasting blood test?
* What are the normal levels of insulin, and what are my readings?

She was the most unhelpful medical professional I have ever met. She didn't have the answers to any of the questions I asked her, and repeated back to me the statement that the doctor had written twice! She told me that it was a fasting blood test, and then asked someone else and they said it did not have to be. She said my level was 12, and did not know what the normal range was. Then she looked it up, found out it was 2-25, and had no answer for me about why 12 is an abnormal reading. I don't expect her to know as much as the endocrinologist, but I did expect her to know something!!! What is she doing working at an endocrinologist's office and calling people with their lab results if she does not know the answer to at least one of these questions??!!?? And she wasn't just a receptionist who was passing on a message - she was a medical professional who should know some of these answers.

And then, she said what is probably the worst thing that has been said to me over the last few weeks. She said, "But this is good. Type 1 is better!" I stared at her, open-mouthed. I did not know what to say to this idiotic, incompetent woman. I just managed to say, "How?" Her response was, "Because Type 2 is preventable, but in Type 1, your body just stops making insulin." It was all that I could do to stop yelling at her. I did very sharply say, "That is not better. That is worse!" I didn't want to talk with her anymore, and I left. Then I cried again. I will be talking with the endocrinologist about this as well - I am terribly disappointed at my experience with their office. They forgot to call in my lab request, the forgot to call in my prescriptions, (both of which I found out once I got to the lab and the pharmacy and had to call them to call these things in), he refused to do the antibody tests that I wanted him to - only to later find out that I did need them anyway, and to top it all they have this completely incompetent woman who told me that it was "better" that my body is attacking and destroying my pancreas making me insulin-dependent for the rest of my life! WTF!!!!

My BG readings yesterday were mostly good. Food was off the whack and eaten at odd times since yesterday afternoon was filled with this crap and I was otherwise preoccupied:

Same as yesterday - 2 eggs with tomato, basil, mozzarella

Veggies, Cottage Cheese. This was weird. I like the veggies and cottage cheese separately.

I had planned a salad, but was too shook up to eat it after the phone call. So, an hour later, I ate this. The Thai Sweet Chilli flavor was good. But, I prefer the roasted jalapeno flavor of KIND bars.

Unphotographed WW Saltines and Yogurt dip

If you haven't tried Toby's Tofu Dip, you must. I don't know if they sell it outside the Pacific Northwest, though. Tofu dip, crackers.

Sope at a local taqueria. It was blah.

Slow dancing for 1 hr. About the same pace as a leisurely walk.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Back on Track

After a week of eating somewhat poorly (though not terrible), and not exercising, I am back on track. Starting yesterday, I have been eating well. Work and life are busy this week, and most days I am doing something or other until about 9am, so I'm not going to get much exercise, but I think I'm going to try to sneak in 20-30 min walks on some lunchtimes. Also the thing that's keeping me away from home late today is a dance class, so that's some exercise (even though it's not vigorous dancing).

Since I have been eating well these last few days, my BG levels have been more or less good as well. Better than before anyway. I am cutting down my carbs to about 45g/meal and 15g/snack. This is the advice given to me by my CDE. I meet with a nutritionist in 2 weeks. However, on the online diabetes forum, people are very aggressively suggesting that 45g/meal does not work, and that it should be Low Carb High Fat (LCHF). They suggest that being in ketosis is what has helped them all - and there are tons of people on that forum who say the same thing. They suggest no more than 45g/day. I am trying to figure out what is best. On the one hand, it is very hard to ignore the legions of people who are advocating so strongly for LCHF. On the other hand, doctors and nutritionists are advocating against it. There's also a lot of info on the internet that says ketosis is dangerous in the long term. Others say that it isn't ketosis, but ketoacidosis that is the problem. However, if you have ketoacidosis, that's not a long-term thing - you will get very sick very quickly. I can't really get a definitive answer about what the long term effects of ketosis are. Very confusing. I can try to do LCHF if need be, but I don't want to. So, I am going to start with 45g/meal-15g/snack and see what it does to my BG levels over a couple of months. For the last few days, it has been working well for me. If I am able to do this and lower my BG levels, then I don't need to switch over to LCHF. If it doesn't, I'll give LCHF a go.

This was my food yesterday:

Same breakfast as yesterday - 2 eggs w. tomato, basil, cheese.

Same salad as yesterday.

Same snack as yesterday - I am a woman of infinite monotony, apparently!
Then I broke the monotony by eating an almond a coconut KIND bar a few hours later.

Then I became monotonous again by eating the yesterday's dinner again - lentil-barley-veggie soup
Later - 2 squares of dark chocolate and 1/4 cup of peanuts.

10 min walk at lunchtime. I didn't get more time. But, it's something...

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Tough Day Yesterday, Feeling Empowered Today

Yesterday was tough for a variety of reasons. Some healthcare visits, my car, work - tough time everywhere. Also, I was working till 9pm. It was a 13 hour day!!! I did have a short period of respite in the middle of the day when I joined an online diabetes community and posted an introductory message. Then, this happened:

I cried my eyes out when I read that. I was already on edge and that just set me off into tears. Then this happened:

After work, I went home and I cried some more. D. was very reassuring and said some angry stuff that made me laugh. When I woke up this morning, I asked myself how I felt. I felt bullied and scolded. So, I logged on and said so:
No response from him to that yet. But, I feel much better.

I used to wonder why people took internet bullying so seriously - I mean some kids kill themselves over more serious and prolonged internet haranguing! I used to wonder how something someone faceless who means nothing to you says could significantly impact you. Now I know. I don't know why I cared so much - but I know now how it feels.

Overnight Oats w. Strawberries and Almond Milk

Salad w. Spinach, Yellow Tomatoes, Red and Yellow Bell Peppers, Cheese, Garbanzos, Cashews, Sauteed Tofu and Lite Raspberry-Pomegranate Vinaigrette

Chipotle Cheese, Mini Rice Crackers (1/3rd portion)
Unphotographed Veggies & Broccoli Dip

1c. Lentil Barley Veggie soup

I read on the forum that eating a protein snack just before you go to sleep can help with night-time blood glucose. So, I made this thing I read about - crustless pizza. Just add 1/2 cup of mozzarella to a skillet - add desired toppings and let it bubble until the edges get brown. Then cool a bit - remove from pan and slice. It tastes just like pizza without the carbs.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Monday Weigh-In

Hello All. I've not been posting much for the last couple of weeks. Can you tell that I am completely off-track? After the first week of enthusiasm, my diabetes diagnosis finally caught up to me and left me feeling depressed. I was and am still mourning the loss of the wonderful privilege of not having to restrict what I eat. This resulted in a rebellious series of binges. I am too ashamed to photograph my binges. So, no posts either. They weren't that bad really - except for two days, but I felt a great amount of shame eating carby food that I should be avoiding.

Last week, I got my blood glucose monitor and have been checking my BG 4-5 times a day. My blood glucose is serious crazy and out of whack! It's all over the place. In the last 5 days, it has varied from 93 to 238. Normal range is below 100 or 110 (depending on who you ask) when fasting, and around 140-ish a couple of hours after a meal. And a crazy thing happened this morning. When i checked my BG two hours after dinner yesterday, it was 122. This morning, it was 149. How the hell does that happen? There probably is a reason that I don't know about. Sigh!

Weighed in this morning at 221.0 lbs. Slightly up, but totally understandable given last week. Anyway - it's Monday and the first of a new month. This means that it's a great day for a re-start. Here is what my month looked like:
Purple stars for eating well and Silver starts for exercising. 10 days of exercise and 16 days of eating well. Notice how the last week is completely bare? :-(

"Caprese" Scrambled Eggs - 2 Eggs with Tomato, fresh Basil and Mozarella

Single Serving Bag of Lays Sour Cream and Onion Chips. I know!! (Hangs head)

3 Cheese Taquitos from 7-11. So awful for you, but yummy!

1/2 c. Rolled Oats w. Peanut-Coconut Veggie Curry; Sauteed Tofu
4 strawberried