Thursday, August 20, 2015

ODAAT

I'm taking it one day at a time (ODAAT - used a lot in "recovery lingo" for AA, NA, OA and Eating Disorder and suicidal thoughts/behaviors recovery). I've been depressed before, and I probably will again at various periods of my life. But I usually am okay and usually recover from the "funks". I am resolving to take it ODAAT. And then this happens in my head between me and my mental self-critic (let's call her "SC"):

ME: I resolve to take it ODAAT!
SC: Is that like all your other resolutions which you abandon within a few days?
ME: No. This is different - I need to feel better. I will just focus on one choice at a time.
SC: You have a BAD track record with that.
ME: F*** you, self-critic!!
SC: You know it's true.
ME: Maybe you're right.

I'm trying to not say that last bit.

Yesterday, I resolved to remember to take pictures of the things I ate. I thought that if I did that, then maybe it would help me make better choices about what I eat. It did for the most part. But someone at work brought a big box of baklava and I ate a bunch of that - it's almost all pure sugar and starch!! Then SC and I went over all the things I didn't do yesterday - I didn't check my blood sugar, I forgot to take the metformin, I didn't exercise, I wasn't productive at work and so on...

SIGH!!! Trying to forgive myself for the choices I make that are not good for me and also to forgive myself for the self-bashing that I do.

BREAKFAST
Home-made granola w. milk

LUNCH
Sandwich with Seed-Nut bread, Morningstar burger, hummus and basil; Apple

SNACK
A ton of unphotographed baklava

DINNER
My version of khaman dhokla, a steamed chickpea flour dumpling with sauteed sesame seeds and spices w. tomato chutney and steamed broccoli - a very low-carb meal
Followed by home-made low-sugar blackberry Icecream

2 comments:

Christina @ Love Yourself Healthy said...

Taking it one day at a time is a great philosophy, one that I desperately need to get back to. We can do anything for one day, right? Oh, and as always, YOUR FOOD LOOKS AMAZING.

Chrysalis Fit said...

That is the hope. Thanks for the compliment. I love it when I get the motivation to cook

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