ODAAT

I'm taking it one day at a time (ODAAT - used a lot in "recovery lingo" for AA, NA, OA and Eating Disorder and suicidal thoughts/behaviors recovery). I've been depressed before, and I probably will again at various periods of my life. But I usually am okay and usually recover from the "funks". I am resolving to take it ODAAT. And then this happens in my head between me and my mental self-critic (let's call her "SC"):

ME: I resolve to take it ODAAT!
SC: Is that like all your other resolutions which you abandon within a few days?
ME: No. This is different - I need to feel better. I will just focus on one choice at a time.
SC: You have a BAD track record with that.
ME: F*** you, self-critic!!
SC: You know it's true.
ME: Maybe you're right.

I'm trying to not say that last bit.

Yesterday, I resolved to remember to take pictures of the things I ate. I thought that if I did that, then maybe it would help me make better choices about what I eat. It did for the most part. But someone at work brought a big box of baklava and I ate a bunch of that - it's almost all pure sugar and starch!! Then SC and I went over all the things I didn't do yesterday - I didn't check my blood sugar, I forgot to take the metformin, I didn't exercise, I wasn't productive at work and so on...

SIGH!!! Trying to forgive myself for the choices I make that are not good for me and also to forgive myself for the self-bashing that I do.

BREAKFAST

Home-made granola w. milk

LUNCH

Sandwich with Seed-Nut bread, Morningstar burger, hummus and basil; Apple

SNACK
A ton of unphotographed baklava

DINNER

My version of khaman dhokla, a steamed chickpea flour dumpling with sauteed sesame seeds and spices w. tomato chutney and steamed broccoli - a very low-carb meal
Followed by home-made low-sugar blackberry Icecream